Confessional.

I have never spoken it out loud. Only two people know that I struggle with it every day. It's time to come to terms with what I am.

I am a binge eater.

Some days are better than others. Some days are worse. Stress is a trigger. Depression is a tsunami. Grocery shopping is a war inside my head. I stockpile food in fear of it disappearing. I will eat until I'm uncomfortable. I will choose foods that are deliberately horrible for me and my digestion. It's my punishment for overeating. A built in flogging courtesy of my lack of a gall bladder.

Counting calories and tracking food causes a panic at the end of the day. I will sabotage all my hard work in under 10 minutes.

It has to stop. I can't live like this anymore. I want to make good choices and stick with them. I don't want to view food as the enemy. I don't want to live in fear of my pantry.

I want to be normal.

Some of you know me on twitter and Facebook enough to know surgery is not an option. It's great for a lot of folks, just not me. I know I can only fit in so much exercise while juggling family life and freelancing. I know my limitations. This is a big one. I need help.

I have a very unique opportunity with a friend of mine. I'm going to try hypnotherapy. Surgery without the surgery. I've battled this for over 3 years while trying to lose weight. I've tried drugs and while they worked short term, they left me feeling exhausted and drained. With two kids, there is no room for a chronic fatigue flare up. It's time for a solution and I'm open to trying something a little off the beaten path. I'll report back on how it goes. I'm excited but cautious. This could be a long shot, but it's worth it if it works.